I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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