8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
