Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
