You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
