you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it hurts more in the daytime
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
