I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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