I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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