so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
