I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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