White coat. Heels.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
