actually, I'm a sock model
I smell stomach acid.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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