my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
