I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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