I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
