Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
