I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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