That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
