How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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