very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
