WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Alive.
So much puke
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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