I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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