he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Randomize
