He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
