i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
