Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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