he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
