Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
