Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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