He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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