great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
honey bunches of taint.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
