I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
