New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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