why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
