I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
