Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
