It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
