just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
