i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
