I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
