careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Drake has all the answers
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
