better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
