Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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