My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
