Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
