I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
