Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
