but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
