You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i permit you to call me
Apparently you make a good broom.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
