get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize