Sry I called you an 8
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
