so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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